All of life can be reduced down to two Greek words; Eros and Agape.  Both words are translated in English as love.  But that's where the similarities end.  These two words actually describe the two basic motivating forces in life.  Let's look at the definitions and then make some applications.

Eros- is a self-serving, self-referential kind of love its motive looks something like this; “I love you but I love you for what I can get out you. There is a hidden agenda in it.  It’s love, but it’s love with a hook in it.  When I go fishing I bait the hook with something that appears enticing and good for the fish.  The thing that makes it deadly is the fact that there is a hook in it and if the fish bites I’ll catch him and use him for my own good. That's how eros kind of love works.  Can you see how this kind of love operates in the world or better yet does this kind of love exist in church?

Agape- has no hooks or hidden agendas it’s always got your best interest at heart. It's not self-serving it's absolutely pure in it’s intent towards you. It's genuinely interested in you for your sake not for it’s own sake. As you can see by now man is incapable of that kind of love. Agape is God’s love in fact God is Agape.  That’s the way He loves us, no hooks. Father wants to cause the seed of His love to grow in us so we too can love the way He loves. Jesus said “by this shall all men know you are my disciples, when you have Love (agape) one for another.  It’s not the blessings of God that is going to get the attention of the world, or the power, gifts and anointing of the Spirit. It’s His agape changing the very nature of a man causing him to actually live with a completely different motive and purpose.  A motive not based in any self-serving agenda but with the same purity as the Father’s love.  Will this get the attention of the world?  It’s a significantly different approach to life than what we currently see in much of Christianity. Yes we need the gifts and the power etc. to help us mature in His love, but they in and of themselves will not garner the attention of the world. It’s not until the world sees the gospel changing the very nature of a man that we will adequately demonstrate and reveal Father’s heart.

The world sees us motivated by the same greed, lust and self-serving agendas as they are…

The fact is the world looks on and sees us motivated by the same greed and lust for success, things, titles and power as they are.  Even using the same self-serving methods as they do.  The only difference is we cloak these desires in bible verses and religious clothes. Is it possible to use the word of God in an Eros manner?  Can you see what would happen to a marriage if one of the partners comes into the relationship with a hook in their heart? “I love you but I love you for what I can get from you.” If you no longer meet my needs the way I want you to then I will find someone who will.  Now granted many don’t go that far but we do reduce the relationship down to learning how to live as partners in the same house, meeting each others needs all the while not experiencing any intimacy.

Intimacy is love with no hooks….

Intimacy is only possible where two straight arrows meet. It’s love with no hooks in it.  “I love you” no hidden agenda, having only your best interest at heart.  I’m interested in you for your sake not for my sake. What would a marriage look like if this were sincerely the motive of each partner?  It’s called  “Intimacy”.  But now let me ask you for a moment to lift this principal up into our relationship with God.  What if God approaches me with agape, no hooks, and I approach the Father with eros, I love Him but I love Him for what I can get out of Him?  Can you see what that will do to the relationship?  It doesn’t change His love for me but it does injure the thing called intimacy.

Agape and Eros cannot have intimacy or fellowship….

When Adam sinned in the garden and decided to take life into his own hands did it change the way the Father felt about him? No, but it did injure the relationship to the point that God had to push Adam out of the garden and out of the place of intimacy where he walked with God in perfect harmony and fellowship. Agape and eros cannot have intimacy.  Adam’s sin introduced a whole new approach to life its called "living for myself instead of living for the Lord and in harmony with His purpose." With eros at the base all decisions and relationships are filtered through the grid of the self-serving, self-referential eros motivation.

To Live life on His terms becomes the passion of our life…

This is where God’s agape love is expressed for us as He remedied this condition by sending Jesus to die for us and provide not only a forgiveness for our sin but to impart to us a total change of nature that would enable us to live life with a totally different motivation called agape.  Father inseminates us with His DNA and is looking for His seed of agape love to grow till it captures the whole of our life.  By straightening the hook out in our lives our purpose for living is changed from self-serving to wanting to please the Father. Wanting to fulfill my destiny that which He had in his mind before the foundations of the world.  He is the creator I am His creation, I belong to Him.  To live life on His terms becomes the passion of our lives. The Lord dropped a word in my spirit a few months back that perhaps brings clarity to what I’m saying, “It’s not about you it’s all about the Father”.

We best reveal Father in our lives not by possessions, power, or success but by agape love, He is agape….

To restore us to what Adam had in the garden means to give back to God the two things Adam withdrew- surrender and obedience.  Intimacy with God becomes possible only as I approach Him the same way Jesus did “I always do those things that please the Father”.  Surrender and obedience become expressions of the agape nature and love we have for our Father.  Oh to be able to say, “If you have seen me you have seen the Father”.  Remember God is agape, He doesn’t possess agape He is agape it’s His nature.  We best reveal Him in human nature not by possessions, positions, power or success but by love, His agape.  Once again “By this shall all men know you are my disciples when you have love (agape) for one another.” There is nothing else that can more accurately reveal the Father to this generation.

Father's love can change me and ……

By now it should be dawning on you that we don’t do eros we are eros.  We were born with a hook in our hearts.  The good news is that Father’s love can change me and straighten the hook out in me.  Two keys to this process taking place are:

1. Understanding the natures of eros and agape and how they work and what they look like in us, in church as well as in the world. The nature of sin is to hide, if we can understand eros and it’s affect on human nature and personality much of the battle is won. Light can dispel darkness.
2. Remember what 1John 4.19 says, “We love him, because he first loved us.” We need to receive Father’s love for us; it will change us and give us the grace to be able to return His love to Him in as pure a manner as He gives it to us.

"God's Love will put in me what He wants out of me"….

Receiving Father’s love for me is continually one of the most difficult things I have ever done.  Part of me is continually reminded of all the sin, failures and shortcomings that in my mind and/or emotions are proof that I am not worthy His love.  Then there is another part of me that in pride says I can’t receive anything I haven’t earned, so like the song says, “if the right one don’t get you the left one will”.  But if I'll receive His love in as unconditional a manner as He gives it, it brings security, peace and rest.  It becomes the source of power for change and the grace to live for Him. Martin Luther perhaps says it best “God’s love will put in me what He wants out of me”. Another quote, from St.Augustine  “Love God and do what ever you please” I know at first this statement seems like he is giving a license to sin.  But take a closer look, if I really love God with agape love I will always want do those things that please Him. What pleases me most is when I please Him.

One of the most amazing scriptures in the whole bible is….

Two scriptures come to mind that will shed incredible light on this whole subject.

First scripture:  Eph 3:17-19
17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, (agape)
18 May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
19 and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.

First an appeal to get grounded and rooted in God’s love for you and if you do it will give you a whole new perspective on life.  You’ll be able to comprehend things from an eternal perspective.  Next, one of the most amazing scriptures in the whole bible “if you do come to know Christ's love, you will be filled with all the fullness of God.”  That statement just blows me away. The more I come to know, receive and believe in His love for me the more that love captivates me and fills me with the fullness of God. The hook gets straightened out in my life and my heart is converted from eros to agape.  Eros always seeks to convert the word of God to our desires; Agape always seeks to convert our desires to His word. What is the Father looking for in us? An agape conversion.  I have a coffee maker at home that works on a displacement principal.  It always has water heated in its chamber and when I pour cold water into it the warm water is pushed out. That’s the way it works with Father’s love the more I receive the more the eros nature is pushed out and I become like Him.

The second scripture is found in: I Jn 4:16-17
16 And we have come to know and have believed the love, which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
17 By this, love is perfected with us, that we may have confidence in the Day of Judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world.

It's not about me it's all about Him…..

Did you catch it? Verse 17 says that the love of God is perfected in us.  That word perfect in the Greek is telios and it means to be matured or brought into it’s full potential.  Much like an acorn when planted becomes an oak tree. God inseminates us with His love then looks for that love to mature and reach it’s full potential in us. “As He is so also are we to be in this world” representing Him, His heart and His nature. How do we work with the Lord to mature this agape in us? Look at verse 16 “we have come to know and believe the love God has for us” then in verse 17 it says by this love is perfected in us, by what? By knowing and believing in Father’s love for us it releases more of His fullness and power to change us and to mature us into His image.  It begins to straighten the hooks out in us and we begin to approach life differently from “what am I going to get out of this” “to what is He going to get out of this”.  It’s not about me it’s all about Him! Father what do you want to do with this life today?

How much more your heavenly Father…..

The bible says that if your natural father is able to love you and give you good gifts how much more your heavenly Father. I would like to leave you with 5 things that as a father to my little girl absolutely delight my heart.  Perhaps our heavenly Father feels the same way.

1. Watching her receive my love and then reciprocate by returning it to me.
   I'll never forget the first time she gave me a kiss all by herself just because she wanted to. I thought I was going melt.  I travel a lot and I always bring her home prizes, I was up in NY and I called home and in the conversation I asked her what kind of prize she wanted daddy to bring home this time. There was a long pause on the phone, then I heard her say, "daddy I just want you to come home". I popped every button on my macho shirt. Then I heard the Father say to me " I'm waiting for a whole generation that will do that with me."
2. Knowing she feels safe when daddy's home  
   How do you suppose our heavenly Father feels when we feel safe in His presence?
3. Not worried about her provision knowing I'll do everything possible to take care of her
   I wonder how He feels when we express confidence in Him to take care of us? I know how I feel with my family, how much more your heavenly father.
4. When she trusts my decisions for her knowing I'll always have her best interest at heart
   That kind of trust makes me even more careful not to do anything to ever injure her. How much more our heavenly Father.
5. When she has done wrong she knows can come to me and I will always forgive her and do everything I can to help her through it.

• • How much more your heavenly Father!
  • He really does love us can we trust Him as a Father?
  • He desires so passionately for us to Love Him and to trust Him.

May the Lord richly bless you as you endeavor to live your life for Him!

In His Agape,
Doug Lambert